~ Hilarious Headlines ~

Maybe I have too much time on my hands but I was on SportsShooter and laughed at this thread titled "Headlines that could (couldn't) be better"

So I went on a tangent and started surfing for funny headlines. I wasn't disappointed and openly admit that before long I was laughing so hard tears were rolling down my face.

Here's some of the best ones I found (my thoughts are in parenthesis):

* Queen Mary having bottom scraped
* Is there a ring of debris around Uranus? (if so, it's time to take a shower)
* Prostitutes appeal to Pope
* Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over
* Child's stool great for use in garden (yes but I wouldn't want to be the one to spread it!)
* Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
* Organ festival ends in smashing climax (...wow)
* Puerto Rican teen named mistress of the universe
* Condom truck tips, spills load (I'm not touching this one)
* Jane Fonda to teens: Use head to avoid pregnancy (that'll do it)
* Statistics show teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25 (you think?)
* Student excited dad got head job
* Time to spark up the bowls (college bowl games, that is)
* Bonnie Blows Clinton (speaking of hurricane Bonnie in Clinton, North Carolina)
* Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
* Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft
* Joint committee investigates marijuana use (and how did they do that?)
* Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
* Two convicts evade noose; jury hung
* Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
* Old school pillars are replaced by alumni
* Hospitals are sued by 7 foot doctors
* Plane too close to ground, crash (obviously)
* Man struck by lightning faces battery charge (must have been some battery!)

I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it.

~ Jody ~